What do you do when you want to...
SEE people
DRAW flipcharts
FEEL important
IMPRESS Colleagues
and....want an alternative to work???
You do "TRAINING"!!! a national one is recommended!
That's exactly what I was assigned to for a week long!!
So...another co-worker and me get onto a flight to Kolkatta!! Then starts the story!!
One look at the directions from airport to the Guest House (GH) and I was sure, its gonna take quite some time to get there....need an illustration of the precise instructions? here you go...
White building with green glass on your left side….
Green building with green glass windows in "front" to your "right"...
Take the "wrong" lane....
Pink and Maroon building (apparently our GH) on your right....
Lemme see...err....in an area full of modern time structures, with fancy architecture....are these combinations "one of their kind"??? Saying, there isn't a remotest possibility of we reaching the place (on basis of these instructions) would be an understatement - unless a MIRACLE happens!!
and..... IT happened!
We met two others (potential lost souls) from the other region at airport - talk about advantages of a national training!!
We all set out to hunt for the place, while the three of us were trying to figure out the colors of buildings around us, one guy did the running around to get clues for our hunt – 15minutes go by, we asked atleast about half a dozen people and no one has a clue – where the hell was this freaking Pink & Maroon building???
Then came a ray of hope and we figured out which building it was! Thus ended the adventurous GH hunt!
Day 1:
With a lot of excitement, we enter the training room and a warm gush of strong odor of suffocation welcomes us…. then the historical AC was switched on, it made a thundering effect and we were all waiting with wishful yearning eyes to feel the cold air blowing by….we waited….waited and waited more….but nothing happened!! The AC was not functioning…..Welcome aboard to all new joiners!!!
We go sit on the chairs and realize, the infrastructure was well planned….the chairs didn’t have an arm rest, a deliberate attempt to induce wee bit of discomfort in an already uncomfortable environment..….to ensure the participants are forced to stay awake (I can’t think of any other reason, why the arm rests were missing)!!
We try to lean on the desks/tables and realize, the more we lean on them, the farther they go…I mean, which table has WHEELS??? Especially tables in training rooms, where you are expected to write!!! Wheels???? To tables???? Yet can’t fathom it!
We actually "had" to be alert - why?? all over the floor were extension boxes (live electricity)….plugs, wires, LAN cables etc etc etc., We literally were on our toes all during the session!
Undeterred by the circumstances, we were all trying hard to concentrate on what’s being taught – then comes one of the admin staff and announces that there is a “slight” tornado forecasted – I know we should not panic during emergencies, but what’s “slight” about a “tornado”???
This training was so important we couldn’t let things that are more important interfere with it….So, petrified with our fortitude; the forecasted “slight” tornado shifted its course!!!
Day 2:
I was very very sleepy and it was just not in me to stay awake…I was conscious of being caught by the co-instructor who was much more alert than the one who was putting us to sleep…..during my struggle to pin my eyes open, I realize the co-instructor yawning and trying not to look bored but giving away his feelings!! The instructor, was consistent – irrespective of an attendee or speaker, he put us all to sleep!!
We all talk funnily at times, using drastically contradictory words. For instance, I once introduced my neighbour to a cousin of mine, saying "she is the only neighbour I know, apart from two others"....that's the way we are made, a little imperfect and instructors are no exceptions…so this one says “Sometimes the more less you talk, the better” at the least five times in a day!
The training starts at 9:30 AM and ends around 7:30 PM, we were put up at a god forsaken place, from where it took atleast an hour to reach any civilization, to add on, we were in a city that sleeps early and the trainer (the one who earlier in the day, put us to sleep) actually ACTUALLY asks us (after the session ends at 7:30+) “what’s your plan for the day?” If I may ask you - where’s your logic man?? Or do you think training doesn’t really require using that cell of your brain??
Day 3:
We discuss stuff amongst our group and I realize, not everyone is good at everything, but everyone is good at something!!
Day 4:
All through the days and nights that went by, we played games – simple, silly, interesting and funny games!! We formed opinions, we shared jokes and we had fun!!! Big Time fun!! The college types – free of corporate insincerity!!
Day 5:
We go out, hog on delicious food and we get back to GH……something obtuse strikes us and we decide to stay awake all night and go with the rest of the gang to visit few places next morning and get back before the training starts!!
Day 6:
Our insanity wins! We stay awake all night followed by early morning sight-seeing! We get back to training – rather we sleep walk back to the training!! Not a word of what’s being taught gets in, not a concept sinks in and at the end of the day – we win the group quiz (while 40% of the team is sluggish)!! In that state of trance, we bid good-bye to the dearest friends made in the shortest span of time and set out to leave for home and make it just in time for the flight!!
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For all the guys from the group – I am truly “coffee-potting” all the fun we had!
After all the varied experiences and diverse emotions - the frustration, the fun, the excitement, the boredom – I now know, we treated ourselves to memories, of a lifetime!!
End of monologue!
P.S: “Coffee-Pot” is a verb guessing game. A group (barring one, who is sent out) chooses a simple verb (remember, eat, dance etc.,) the one who was sent out has to find out which is the “mystery” verb by asking questions, the “verb” coffee-pot is provided to substitute the verb. (Example: “Do you coffeepot every day?")