Doc: You see this thing flickering? That's the heart beat :-)
Me: You mean, it's positive?
Doc: Yes Smitha, ofcourse it is!
Me to Ashish: Mere andar abhi do heart hai!!!!
Then the started the journey of hope, panic, joy, apprehensions, planning, paranoia, stress, care, morning sickness, frustrations, anticipation and numerous other humanly emotions, ofcourse followed by advices - unlimited!!
General perception: You HAVE to and CAN eat ANYTHING you wish for, all through!
Doc: Watch your weight!
Dietician: Watch your calories!
Random Aunty 1: You should eat loads of fruits, except papaya and pineapple!
Random Aunty 2: Don't eat banana - the baby's head will grow big!
Random Aunty 3: Don't eat Kala Jamun - the baby will be born dark!
Random Aunty 4: Don't eat sesame and amla!
Random Aunty 5: Don't eat custard apple!
Dietician: Eat lots and lots of green leafy vegetables
Random Aunty 6: Doctors keep saying that all the time, but don't eat Ceylon Spinach at all!!!
Random Aunty 7: Reduce spinach intake
Dietician: Avoid juices, eat whole fruits
Random Aunty 8: Drink lotsssss of juices!
(There are unlimited number of Random Aunties - contributing to the unlimited advices!)
"The news" gets everyone exciting, some get more than just excited! When they see you next, some get delirious with joy!
Random Aunty 1: When is your due date?
Me: 14th!
Random Aunty 1: Can you wait till the 23rd? Its my daughter's birthday!!
Random Aunty 2: When is your due date?
Me: 14th!
Random Aunty 2: Can you wait till 15th? He/She and I will be sharing the same birth stone!
Just to ask the excited souls - What am I supposed to postpone???? My train journey?????
Exercising is like the favourite topic for all and sundry! Ofcourse like most of other things, everyone knows everything!!
Random Aunty 1: Take stairs all the time, even if you can't force yourself! It helps!!
Random Aunty 2: DONOT take stairs, avoid them big time!
85year old uncle: You SHOULD walk, even if it rains!
Random Aunty 3: DONOT step out even if it drizzles, you don't want to slip, do you??
55 year old uncle: You HAVE to start working out immediately after, else you will have problems post 15years, I am saying this out of experience!!
Me (in my head): Experience?????? Uncle?????You are serious???
Random Uncle: Exercise is mosttt important, take five steps everyday, neither less nor more!
Me (in my head): what am I supposed to do if my I have to take more than that to reach my room? Wait for another day?????)
There are also a different category of advisors, those who I bet my life haven't followed it ever when they had to!
Random Aunty: Not eating Papaya is just a myth, you can eat one, it's very high in protien called Papain, which is good for the system.
Me: Did you have it aunty, when it was your time? (which was approx 32yrs back)
Random Aunty: No, I was consumed by the myth, but you can try!
Me (in my head): Oh really??? Why the hell would I be so adventurous to experiment with a myth older than I am??? You think I am crazy? or dumb? or both???
A neighbour who owns a gym: Never go by "you are eating for 2 funda". Just eat for yourself! You have to keep exercising, irrespective of whether you have energy or not! Blah...blah...blah...of 45minutes and then she says there will be loads of people giving you insane and unwanted advices, just ignore them!
Me (in my head): Oh yeah???? Can I ignore you??? Right away???
Cherry on the cake is this one com(pli)ment!
I happened to attend wedding of an old college friend, where I met another friend's wife
She: No kids yet?
Me: I am expecting, its the 7th month :-)
She: OHHHH! Can't really make out! :O :O
Me: Was blushing and feeling good about "maintaining" myself !!
She: This happens when you have always been plump, its difficult to say!!
Me: :-( / x-( / :-
So, thats that!!! All said and done - I can't wait for the next pregnant woman to pass on advices - solicited and otherwise!!! EHAHAHAHAHAHA - Yes, I am the next Random Aunty!!!!!
