Fuel of Life!

One normal Thursday evening I had an appointment with my gynec, she reads the reports casually, flips through some pages here and there in my file and imperturbably says “let’s get you admitted” and then there was nothing normal about that day anymore!

The following Sunday, the hospital room saw allll of my family, all nervous as I was being prepped for the surgery to follow – I was for some extremely odd reason awfully relaxed – maybe because I was ignorant about how crucial the surgery was or that I had trust in my doc or most notably because I had alllll of ‘my people’ around me and they took the nervousness away by just being there!

While my mom, my husband, my in-laws, my aunts/uncles where stressed about the surgery, I was very happy that I was being taken reverse in a wheelchair to the OT (I have this absurd penchant for anything that goes reverse – car/bike/auto)!!!

I don’t remember few hours after that, but when I was wheeled out of the OT and shifted to my bed, I could hear lot of animated tones discussing whether I knew or not….I so wanted to ask/yell but could barely find my voice and then I heard someone ask me if I knew – I gestured a big NO and then they said…….“it’s a boy” – I touched him briefly and…..in a terrifically positive way –  my world has never been the same ever since!

Initial days were of panic……I didn’t feel like a Karan Johar-movie Mother, the responsibility hit me in the face, knocked me out for couple of days and thanks to the ceaseless sleepless nights I could never figure out anything!!! Slowly, my mom and my husband got me back on track to the world of sanity and ever since it has been an enduring task to stay that way!!

As aptly said by Meryl Steep – Motherhood has a very humanizing effect, everything gets reduced to essentials!!! Extracts of my little learning:

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  ·         Sleeping without a break is long forgotten!

  
  

  ·         Washroom – the very going is a challenge!!

  
  

  ·         Eating without having to get up atleast once – blue moon probably occurs more often

  
  

  ·         When I want to eat something yummm and also have it ready and sometime have even started to eat, at that precise minute there will be a kid-loo-calling moment!!

  
  

  ·         When with all the care and silence I put him to bed (esp in the noon) there will be a loud knock on the door or the damn phone goes off and…..of course he is awake!

  
  

  ·         If in case you ever liked monsoons, you will dread them now because monsoon means – running nose, allergies, coughs, cold, infections!!!

  
  

  ·         I am done with all the household work that can be thought of and want to quickly take a nap beside the little one, I lie down and stretch legs starting to feel the bliss, when…..the kid’s done with his nap and is up!

  
  

  ·         In my past I was forever hooked on to the phone, now, I had couple of instances where I left my phone in a kitchen draw/refrigerator and it took me most of the day to figure it out :D

  
  

  ·         I am soo used to my tot sticking on to me, that it feels stroppy to walk bare handed anywhere!!
·         Going alone anywhere, feels like a vacation!!
 

I want to, at mostttt of these times, yell scream guts out, and am tired by the end of the day, just want to crash on the bed….. lights out and the tiny little one cuddles in, gives the sweetest little puppy on my cheek and says “dalyu mamma” (my son’s way of saying “love you mamma”) and then………you don’t mind any of it, in fact you love your day!!!

My husband once asked me how much I love my son, I was confounded he asked and all I could say was “he is a part of me”!!!!