"Corporate" Wisdom??

After the glorious college days, I had a glamorous beginning to my career when I entered into the world of corporates!!!! First I was awestruck by their knowledge, their contacts, their meticulous planning....then there was this extreme emotion of shock when I learnt about the 'preach to never practise' and many such one-way applicable attitudes....After approximately 5.5years into this structurally unstructured world I can say, I am on my path to wisdom!!

The unknown "they" say, there are equations to life - true, very true - following are my take on equations to 'corporate' life:

• You bill your client in DOG hours and pay your staff in MAN hours - sure enough indicates, you are expected to work like a dog.


• Pay 3 persons salary to 1 person and make him feel blessed & important and then he HAS AN OPTION to take up 1/2 dozen persons load or 1/2 dozen +Team Lead's load or 1/2 dozen +Team Lead's load+ Manager's load - OFCOURSE, THE RIGHT to opt, lies very high up!


• You know how to click all the buttons in word & excel - knowledge of when to click what is an insult to the entire corporate world.


• You make optimum utilisation of English as a written & spoken language - your work is always "perfect", "great", "awesome", most likely than all, its "fair enough" - although in absolute reality the concept of fairness is extinct!!


• You insist that your staff work all days of the week including saturday and give them the "flexibility" of working from home on a Sunday - in case you are not insisting (yet), trust me, you are a total disgrace to the whole corporate boss world!!!


• You diligently conduct a GLOBAL survey every year and 'discuss' the concerns on work-life balance consistently year after year - I doubt if the survey results really need to be analysed (assuming they are) - where's the logic?? You are a DOG, you ONLY work....'work-life balance' is just another phrase!!!

I read a small story the other day, allow me to narrate it and your options are limited to reading on:

A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day.

A rabbit asked him, “Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?”
The crow answered: “Sure, why not.”
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested.

A fox jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story: To surive sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very high up!!!!!

The Over Burdened Rich!!!

There is this one very posh, hip-hop-hep - in short - a super expensive gym, right in front of our office building. Everyday I pass by that road, I can't help but notice the long line of lambi chowdi, chamakti gadis. I wonder, every time, who has got the kind of money and more importantly the time to go to a gym at around 6:00 PM??? I was sure, they all must be super committed folks - committed to work out in spite of their busy schedules (I assumed they must be "busy" since they were "rich")!!! The rich, smart, busy species!! I kind of started having high regard for them, until......

One day on way back from work, I noticed a reallll longg and handsomeee black car, it zoomed by and stopped right near the steps to the gym. A guy in a white uniform came running and opened the front passenger door, there was this chauffeur driven not-so-good looking guy, who got down the car (while on his mobile - of course he "had" to be busy)...this guy didn't budge an inch to advance towards the door. I presumed, he waited to take his bag...but NO!!! This guy in the uniform rushed, opened the back door and carried the rich guy's "gym kit" for him and also held the door open for this not-so-good looking rich guy to walk in!!! I was glad, the guy in the uniform didn't "carry" the rich guy in and hope against the hopes the not-so-good looking rich guy was not disappointed by this lack of gesture!!!

I understand, this guy is rich...probably busy (though I am not sure anymore)...the kind who "think" they are independent - though when left alone, can't spot their toothpaste!!! The kind who need maids/valets etc....BUT, he is at the GYM!!!!!! Probably....logic evades him

He rather drive down and carry his bag inside - ofcourse apart from the terrible burden of carrying himself!!

Hereby I conclude, that rich needn't be busy and definetly not smart - they just need to be "RICH"!!!! :D :D

P.S: For all those out there, who after reading the post, are wondering about my fitness level - I am NOT overweight, I am just 10 inches too short!

P.P.S: Let me clarify - I am NOT against rich - I am just trying to analyse what it takes to get there and as long as its not being 'smart', I have no problem, whatsoever ;-)!!

Traffic Behavioural Syndrome!

I finally am trying to drive "alone" (emphasis intended) to and from work!! After couple of drives accompanied/directed/guided by AP [name changed for anonimity ;-)]....it still felt arduous to drive alone at "the peak hour" through "the peak route"....Nevertheless, I had to - so I did!!

After being an active member of the "adopt an auto a day" community for quite a few years now, I can not help but draw references to the 'drive-by-auto' and 'drive-ur-way' scenarios....there are soooo many things which driving makes you realise - apart from the lack of civic sense!!

For instance, never before did I notice there are so many by-lanes on the route I take....the traffic popping in-n-out hapahzardly informs you on the layout...if rats evacuate their holes, probably you would see a Pulsar vroooming through them!! Such is our capacity to wring a vehicle through the smallest available space!!!

You literally have to "memorise" the route you take to avoid the self evolved potholes and protruding manholes.....if not anything, driving plays a key role in improving your concetration and observation!!!

I don't claim to have a world of knowledge, but I do know for sure a thing - no one wants to live on the road and in the traffic....everyone wants to and has to go home, so why the rush??? I fail to understand perspective of those who 'honk' when there is super traffic jam!

Most intriguing are the two inseparable friends/couples driving.....they probably have a mutual 'die-hard' feeling for each other(literally)......they yap-yap while driving - two different people, two different vehicles, drive parllel in sync (in peak traffic) and yap????? What's it that they 'catch up' with eludes me!!

Mosttttt typical of traffic behavioural syndrome if you have ever noticed is, that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac :D :D

Lessons to a life skill !!!

I never drove ever before till I tried venturing into learning to dirve a car.....first day at the driving school my instructor introduced me to the very important clutch-break-accelerator.
After which he asked me to start the car and zoomm-vrooomm went the accelerator and my instructor, Mr. A, gasped - I made a robust start ;-)...

In yet another driving class....out of the blue I asked Mr. A "agar brake, brake karta hai tho clutch kya karta hai"....he gave a "huh - what are you rambling" look but just said "what?" I repeated my question and it took him sometime to understand what I meant!!

In the early classes, when Mr. A asked me to shift the gear, I would ask him "in which gear am I currently" - before this class, he had asked me not to look at the gear stick when I had to change the gear :D

I was amazed at the technology - when you turn on the indicator lights and take a right/left....after you complete the turn, the lights are turned off automatically!!!!!! How cool is that!!!

Very interestingly....I picked up reverse classes faster than the forward driving classes.....Mr. A was himself amazed at how smooth my driving was when I drove reverse :D :D

For the one or two months that I learnt to drive.....every drive I had been to, I only had questions for the person driving me....(including an auto driver - I wanted to know if autos also had a reverse gear)....every turn I would predict which gear to be used and question if it went against my prediction....heart-of-hearts I am sure people who drove me wanted to drop me off the road :D

Thus were my driving lessons.....scary for Mr. A with a mis-adventurous student that I am.....torturous for the skilled drivers who endured me (my questions more precisely) all through the months....questions-questions and more of them every day, every class....!!

First day@College!!!

Time flies.....perspectives change.....its amazing to see how things/traditions transform right in front of your eyes!!
I remember my first day at college - it was a mixture of emotions - a little nervous, a little awkward....a lot excited!! Each of it doubly/triply amplified as I (a lonely soul) get closer to my new classroom....Excitement more particularly - excitement about meeting new people....people who came from different walks of life...people I had never met before. The atmosphere was so very different....everyone was a stranger and the feeling was mutual across the whole group!!

The first introductions - first impressions - first groups....alone you experience all of these.....all alone....finding comfort in even the least approachable/considerate members you meet...

This first day at college - is a lasting memory and an unbeatable experience (which I thought was rather customary)!!

But like its said "change is the only thing constant" (Against my belief that this custom would remain unchanged..)

Change, How??

Now - you know ur to-be classmates/batchmates much before you step into the campus....much before you know your classroom.....much much before you see them. Mails are exchanged....so are calls....likes/dislikes known...expectations shared.....groups made....picnics planned....dinners arranged. Most of the times you have "buddies" before you start your course. The fear of being a "loner" on the first day at the college would probably persuade almost everyone to participate in either or all of such "pre-college intro" events!!

This first day at college - when you already have "your" groups....people you already know....groups formed by region....would still be a lasting memory and experience I guess.....BUT with a difference!!!

And Yes, I am biased ;-)!!!

Ups & Downs!!

Ever wondered why moments of low and high in life are called Ups and Downs? - I did!!

What?? The inner me demanded logic, so I ‘had’ to ;-) !!

I always thought it was associated with the general Up/Down curves we see with the hills/roads/waves….until I went for a brisk walk yesterday did I find an explanation to the simile!!

On the way up – we require a lot of energy, it takes a lot of perseverance/focus and we sweat crazy. We always know it’s gonna be tough, but we choose to do per our own rationale. We crave to have someone push and support from the behind, but we know its gonna be a single-self-effort. Maximum we would have is a company, a person who would walk along, tries to put in the same effort and energy!

Once we reach the top, we are very relaxed, take in all the fresh air possible, pant a lot and cherish all the effort put in. It isn’t that we can stay there for long, to reach where we want to, we will have to take the immediate down and the next up and the next down and so on and so forth till we reach where we intend to!!

While we go down hill, we do feel it’s manageable at the first instance, BUT its here where we need utmost self-balance, grip on our feet. What if we don’t?? We trip over and hurt ourselves reallll bad!!!

As we reach a leveled surface, we are grateful to self that we were balanced!!! In allll this, what matters is the company, try walking alone…hmmm….naaaah the very idea is sad and boring!!

Now, does the simile make sense???? It does to me!!!!!

I do enjoy my walks all the way, the Ups/Downs/Twists/Turns/Trees/Breeze/Sweat/People I meet etc etc and finally getting home and of course not to miss the few calories burnt in the process!!!

Life is exactlyyy like this – isn’t it???

Just a single minute!!

In the process of being busy wiling away time and one of the "I am not gonna work" days, I just had this random thought - what are the instances when we truly..actually...realise the value of the much abused and most widely used word - "one minute"??
One of the two grey cells my brain holds, was put to task and "pop" came the answers...

When you...

• are on the 'manual' treadmill (yes they still do exist and this is the bestest way to teach value of time :D)
• are hungry and waiting for the much needed lunch break, at the infamously famous n boring corporate training sessions
• are anxiously waiting for a call from the (special) someone
• are having a boring day at work, and yearning to go home
• have just missed your flight/train/bus!!

and...

• on your wedding - the preparation may take few months/years but its that precise minute that you are pronounced a couple :-)
• while having a verbal..emotional..high voltage...fight - the silence after though lasts for a minute might seem longer than that!!

(for keen observers - the sequence of marriage and fight was not intetional :P)

Finally...

• A minute - 13breathes (on an average)
• A minute - its priceless when its the last, one has got!!! :-)