Perceive, Pursue & Protect!

For someone who’s biggest academic achievement is a long lost memory, I have never ventured much into the academic arena. It didn’t take much out of me to keep it that way. I always managed keeping my work life not-so-happening, personal life a balanced wave and academic life dormant!!

Then out of the blue, with no notice whatsoever, crept in few crazy little ideas of future!! I started perceiving things from a different perspective; I started having scary thoughts of pursuing further academics :-O ….. The fact is I suspect I have very few grey cells in my head, I suppose the number is around three….for the first time all the three were put to task at once and the result was destructive…well ALMOST – I enrolled onto a professional course, which I deemed was a great value add!

I was an IDIOT!

I know you would agree with the statement and for all those who would want to say “I know you are, but why this time?” I’ll tell you why!! In the past, I quit my job (the one prior to the current) to get done with a course, which was half tough as this!! I actually QUIT my job, when all I had to do was work and study! There were only two aspects!!Now – not only is this course twice as hard as the earlier one, but I chose to do it while working, cooking, driving (it’s a task, a hideous one)!! WOW!! No WOW - CRAP - I have an emergency - the three grey cells have been assigned to perform one task each and now I have NO GREY CELLS left to retain what I study (when I study)!!

Perception behind the crazy decision – I have never had a professional qualification, but have always worked with people who have one or loads of them…. I have always, in the interviews (two of them for now) been told I can’t be given the position I deserve, since I am not a “QUALIFIED”….it didn’t matter to me much then and neither now…BUT when the three crazy grey things were put to work, MAYBE this side was ruptured and in that academically passionate moment, I decided to try being a professional (yet again)!!!

Current day situation – Five months after enrollment, post 14 classroom sessions – I haven’t touched my books. I do see them around in the house though!!

Current day frustration – I like assuming, I have too little time…too little energy….too little stamina….too much to handle and too much to study!! I like telling everyone I am BUSY, WANT to and YET can’t study. The actual FACTUAL thing is – I, am NOT trying! I am NOT putting in any effort whatsoever to pursue what I perceived! I denied accepting this, until…..

Yesterday, while I was watching the movie ‘In Pursuit of Happyness’ (it’s a awesomely touching movie), there was a particular dialogue, which just took me instantly, when Will Smith (“slurp-slurp-drooollll”) says “You got a dream, you gotta protect it” – how true!! How very true!!!

In my case, I gotta protect mine from myself, from the bad me in me!! If it takes pulling of a grey cell from one of the tasks (above) arbitrarily, I SHALL!!!

The Lost Guardian Angel!

After a very long time, I had taken an auto ride back home – WOW what an experience it was!!! Its like experiencing a roller coaster ride (an appalling one at that) in the heart of your city!

For all those people out there, who lead a dull life, being chauffer driven or self-drive very carefully, carving your way through traffic – lemme enlighten you….you unquestionably are missing something, something so very exhilarating!!!

On a weekday, preferably a Monday (for some unknown reason, I have observed that Mondays are jam packed) you just gotta hire an auto rickshaw from point A to Point B at around 6:30 PM or anytime after that….the auto vrooms, zooms, squeezes in through the smallest of gaps….Traffic rules do not matter…its all in the auto-wala's head, if he feels right to stop at red, he might….else….the vehicle is dragged mercilessly through the traffic!!!

The most exciting or in other words awe-inspiring experience would be when you spot a cab, and not ANY cab, it HAS to be ONLY Indica!! After a whole lot of honking, braking, you wish either the auto or the indica slows down – BUT, (you guessed it) neither do…..both fly….sometimes I wonder if they forget its an abused four wheeler or a rattled three wheeler which they are driving and unfortunately not a wiry bicycle!! Like someone rightly said, its like you are playing a video game, just that, the direction control is with an electrified unknown human in rush to get YOU to reach YOUR home!!!

I guess their indicators would be in a jam someday due to minimal or absolutely no usage!!! It’s the sign of heads and eyes (not even hands) that does the work! “Lemme overtake you” is sooo beautifully conveyed in their fierce one second glance to the co-electrified drivers!

They say, each one of us has a guardian angel….in these cases I guess, a whole set of guardian angels are out in their flying gear all set to guard us and in no time will they all be busy searching for the soul who was to be guarded!!!!!

It’s a perfect reflection of the busiest of worlds that we live in….flawless manifestation of the gung ho atmosphere that we so tirelessly fabricate around us, day after day after day!!

With all due respect to the world of electrified drivers – Please, never drive faster than your guardian angel can fly :-)

Living life in the fast lane!!!

Its funny how we get so damn busy....there was a time when I used to stop and recollect the fond memories of college, childhood - days when I was practically jobless and ofcourse careless.....I realised just this morning, that it has been ages since I even gave my jobless/careless days a thought!!! :-O
I never discerned the symptoms and the dreadful pattern of activities....everything was just fine and suddenly one day, I was struck with a busy life and I should say, it took me by mixed emotions of shock and surprise.

For all those naive, excited and over zealous souls, keep your eyes, ears and mind open to notice any of the below symptoms....for you may either want to put your foot down & opt to stop/slow OR you may already be running around so much that you will hardly find time to put that foot down - don't bother about the former, its just an eye-wash, the latter is the most happeneing - EHAHAHAHA!!!

1. Your weekend is always yesterday!


2. Your breakfast is skipped, lunch is gulped and dinner is bought!


3. One fine day, you see yourself and notice "I am in shape" (just that its round)


4. You love rain - its just that you say "@#%@&%# how do I get home?"


5. Almost every other day you wonder, where you are getting to!!!

Mr. John Jensen once said "The trouble with life in the fast lane is that you get to the other end in an awful hurry" - Smart chap, I should say!!!!
As for me - When I first heard this phrase, I loveeeddd the way it sounded - I was naive :-|

"Corporate" Wisdom??

After the glorious college days, I had a glamorous beginning to my career when I entered into the world of corporates!!!! First I was awestruck by their knowledge, their contacts, their meticulous planning....then there was this extreme emotion of shock when I learnt about the 'preach to never practise' and many such one-way applicable attitudes....After approximately 5.5years into this structurally unstructured world I can say, I am on my path to wisdom!!

The unknown "they" say, there are equations to life - true, very true - following are my take on equations to 'corporate' life:

• You bill your client in DOG hours and pay your staff in MAN hours - sure enough indicates, you are expected to work like a dog.


• Pay 3 persons salary to 1 person and make him feel blessed & important and then he HAS AN OPTION to take up 1/2 dozen persons load or 1/2 dozen +Team Lead's load or 1/2 dozen +Team Lead's load+ Manager's load - OFCOURSE, THE RIGHT to opt, lies very high up!


• You know how to click all the buttons in word & excel - knowledge of when to click what is an insult to the entire corporate world.


• You make optimum utilisation of English as a written & spoken language - your work is always "perfect", "great", "awesome", most likely than all, its "fair enough" - although in absolute reality the concept of fairness is extinct!!


• You insist that your staff work all days of the week including saturday and give them the "flexibility" of working from home on a Sunday - in case you are not insisting (yet), trust me, you are a total disgrace to the whole corporate boss world!!!


• You diligently conduct a GLOBAL survey every year and 'discuss' the concerns on work-life balance consistently year after year - I doubt if the survey results really need to be analysed (assuming they are) - where's the logic?? You are a DOG, you ONLY work....'work-life balance' is just another phrase!!!

I read a small story the other day, allow me to narrate it and your options are limited to reading on:

A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day.

A rabbit asked him, “Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?”
The crow answered: “Sure, why not.”
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested.

A fox jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story: To surive sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very high up!!!!!

The Over Burdened Rich!!!

There is this one very posh, hip-hop-hep - in short - a super expensive gym, right in front of our office building. Everyday I pass by that road, I can't help but notice the long line of lambi chowdi, chamakti gadis. I wonder, every time, who has got the kind of money and more importantly the time to go to a gym at around 6:00 PM??? I was sure, they all must be super committed folks - committed to work out in spite of their busy schedules (I assumed they must be "busy" since they were "rich")!!! The rich, smart, busy species!! I kind of started having high regard for them, until......

One day on way back from work, I noticed a reallll longg and handsomeee black car, it zoomed by and stopped right near the steps to the gym. A guy in a white uniform came running and opened the front passenger door, there was this chauffeur driven not-so-good looking guy, who got down the car (while on his mobile - of course he "had" to be busy)...this guy didn't budge an inch to advance towards the door. I presumed, he waited to take his bag...but NO!!! This guy in the uniform rushed, opened the back door and carried the rich guy's "gym kit" for him and also held the door open for this not-so-good looking rich guy to walk in!!! I was glad, the guy in the uniform didn't "carry" the rich guy in and hope against the hopes the not-so-good looking rich guy was not disappointed by this lack of gesture!!!

I understand, this guy is rich...probably busy (though I am not sure anymore)...the kind who "think" they are independent - though when left alone, can't spot their toothpaste!!! The kind who need maids/valets etc....BUT, he is at the GYM!!!!!! Probably....logic evades him

He rather drive down and carry his bag inside - ofcourse apart from the terrible burden of carrying himself!!

Hereby I conclude, that rich needn't be busy and definetly not smart - they just need to be "RICH"!!!! :D :D

P.S: For all those out there, who after reading the post, are wondering about my fitness level - I am NOT overweight, I am just 10 inches too short!

P.P.S: Let me clarify - I am NOT against rich - I am just trying to analyse what it takes to get there and as long as its not being 'smart', I have no problem, whatsoever ;-)!!

Traffic Behavioural Syndrome!

I finally am trying to drive "alone" (emphasis intended) to and from work!! After couple of drives accompanied/directed/guided by AP [name changed for anonimity ;-)]....it still felt arduous to drive alone at "the peak hour" through "the peak route"....Nevertheless, I had to - so I did!!

After being an active member of the "adopt an auto a day" community for quite a few years now, I can not help but draw references to the 'drive-by-auto' and 'drive-ur-way' scenarios....there are soooo many things which driving makes you realise - apart from the lack of civic sense!!

For instance, never before did I notice there are so many by-lanes on the route I take....the traffic popping in-n-out hapahzardly informs you on the layout...if rats evacuate their holes, probably you would see a Pulsar vroooming through them!! Such is our capacity to wring a vehicle through the smallest available space!!!

You literally have to "memorise" the route you take to avoid the self evolved potholes and protruding manholes.....if not anything, driving plays a key role in improving your concetration and observation!!!

I don't claim to have a world of knowledge, but I do know for sure a thing - no one wants to live on the road and in the traffic....everyone wants to and has to go home, so why the rush??? I fail to understand perspective of those who 'honk' when there is super traffic jam!

Most intriguing are the two inseparable friends/couples driving.....they probably have a mutual 'die-hard' feeling for each other(literally)......they yap-yap while driving - two different people, two different vehicles, drive parllel in sync (in peak traffic) and yap????? What's it that they 'catch up' with eludes me!!

Mosttttt typical of traffic behavioural syndrome if you have ever noticed is, that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac :D :D

Lessons to a life skill !!!

I never drove ever before till I tried venturing into learning to dirve a car.....first day at the driving school my instructor introduced me to the very important clutch-break-accelerator.
After which he asked me to start the car and zoomm-vrooomm went the accelerator and my instructor, Mr. A, gasped - I made a robust start ;-)...

In yet another driving class....out of the blue I asked Mr. A "agar brake, brake karta hai tho clutch kya karta hai"....he gave a "huh - what are you rambling" look but just said "what?" I repeated my question and it took him sometime to understand what I meant!!

In the early classes, when Mr. A asked me to shift the gear, I would ask him "in which gear am I currently" - before this class, he had asked me not to look at the gear stick when I had to change the gear :D

I was amazed at the technology - when you turn on the indicator lights and take a right/left....after you complete the turn, the lights are turned off automatically!!!!!! How cool is that!!!

Very interestingly....I picked up reverse classes faster than the forward driving classes.....Mr. A was himself amazed at how smooth my driving was when I drove reverse :D :D

For the one or two months that I learnt to drive.....every drive I had been to, I only had questions for the person driving me....(including an auto driver - I wanted to know if autos also had a reverse gear)....every turn I would predict which gear to be used and question if it went against my prediction....heart-of-hearts I am sure people who drove me wanted to drop me off the road :D

Thus were my driving lessons.....scary for Mr. A with a mis-adventurous student that I am.....torturous for the skilled drivers who endured me (my questions more precisely) all through the months....questions-questions and more of them every day, every class....!!